Mother’s Day and the Village That Made Us

It is often said that it takes a village to raise a child. For some, there is a nurturing and supportive mother in their village. For others, a mother may be absent for many reasons, and a grandmother, family member, or another woman steps in. No matter who rises to the occasion, it is often a woman. When we pause and look back, we begin to see just how many influential women have helped shape who we are today.

Mother's Day is often framed as a single story: one woman, one role, and a relationship meant to be warm, consistent, and life-shaping. For many people, that story fits. For others, it does not. A loving mother's hand is powerful and essential. Yet for those who never had a loving biological mother's touch, that does not mean they were denied a mother's love. Sometimes that love arrives in different forms. It may come from a teacher or a person who sees potential and nurtures it with care, warmth, and belief. Without the women in our village, many of us would not be who we are today.

As Mother's Day approaches, it is worth reflecting on the women in our village who influenced us, beginning with our grandmothers. Grandmothers are often the first women to offer guidance beyond our parents. They carry stories of the past and connect us to our family history. Through them, we learn where we come from and, quietly, what might be expected of us. In many ways, our grandmothers set the emotional tone for the generations that follow.

Grandmothers teach differently. In their later years, instruction gives way to presence. Their wisdom is found in kitchens, living rooms, and simple routines. They show us what consistency looks like. They have seen joy and loss, love and heartbreak. They have lived through experiences we may not yet understand, and they carry that knowledge, often using it to protect us from pain they once endured. Grandmothers have survived life's hardest chapters, and when they are gone, their words echo in our minds. Their guidance becomes a voice from the past that continues to steady us long after they are gone.

Then there are sisters, aunts, and nieces—by blood or by bond—who shape us as well. They teach us how to argue and forgive, how to protect and survive. We turn to them when we feel isolated from our inner circle, knowing they understand the dynamics without explanation. Their presence reminds us that we are not alone in our darkest moments.

Friends step into these roles as well. They offer loyalty, honesty, and laughter. They meet us as equals, not authority figures. In life, having someone who walks beside us rather than above us can make all the difference when the world feels heavy. Sometimes the most challenging thing for a mother is speaking hard truths to her child. Advice can sound like judgment, even when it comes from love. A friend, however, can offer the same message with less weight. A friend saying, "Don't settle like I did, chase your dreams," often lands as encouragement. Versus if a mother said it, it could come off as hurtful. The message is the same; who is saying it changes everything.

During one of the darkest periods of my mental-health journey, a woman who had no obligation to me took me under her wing. She was my boss, not my family, yet she showed up with patience, compassion, and guidance when I needed it most. She did not try to fix me or minimize my pain. She simply saw me and chose to help. That kind of kindness changes a person. It reshaped how I move through the world and reminded me that love and guidance do not have to come from bloodlines. For those of us who did not have a strong or safe relationship with our mother, these relationships matter deeply. These women do not replace a mother's love, but they remind us that care, stability, and guidance can come from many places. Their contributions often go unrecognized on days like Mother's Day, yet their influence remains.

Motherhood, at its core, is not only about giving birth. It is about nurturing growth, offering safety, and believing in someone before they believe in themselves. Many women in our village embody these qualities without ever being called "Mom," and their impact is no less meaningful.

This Mother's Day, it is worth expanding our view. It is worth honoring the women who showed up. For some, a Mother's Day celebration comes easily. For others, like myself, it comes with complexity. Both truths can coexist. Honoring the village does not diminish the role of a mother; it acknowledges reality. We are shaped by many hands; some expected, others arriving quietly with compassion and care exactly when we need them most. This Mother's Day, let us broaden the celebration to include the women who helped raise us, guided us, and believed in us when we needed it most.